Monday, August 16, 2010

Conversions

I am not going to touch the rancor that exists surrounding the conversion issue. Instead, I have a list of items that should be converted between the two countries.

From Israel to the US
1) Solar energy. Need AC? Use the sun to power the AC.
2) Hot water heaters, see above for the energy source.
3) Two button toilet flushers. One for, number one, and two for...you get the idea.
4) Be casual. Everybody likes to dress up, but casual is just fine!

From the US to Israel
1) Mail. In the US you know when the post office will be open.
2) Bank hours, they should be regular.
3) Customer service. Lacking in Israel, see numbers one and two.
4) Street numbers. 19, 34, 22 consecutively doesn't make sense.

Bonus, both countries should get rid of:
1) Pennies and ten agurot coins. For those who don't know, Kramer (from Seinfeld, not my cat with the same name) reverses the peephole of his apartment to prevent an ambush from somebody wielding a sock of pennies. They're unncessary.

I know this is a longer post than usual, but surely you will laugh at my expense. I was paying for my groceries at the market when the bagger began bagging my groceries. The following ensued:

I said to him: Ani lo tzarich sachkaneet, yesh li tarmil gav.
I was trying to say: I don't need a bag(sakeet), I have a backpack.
What I actually said: I don't need an actress, I have a backpack.

Pictures coming soon of the flying piano and two button flusher, once the internet woes are resolved.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Slicha, ata yachol l'haziz et ha rov'eh shelcha, b'vakasha?
Excuse me, can you move your gun, please?

4 comments:

Unknown said...

:) funny post, even though I have heard these stories already.

Unknown said...

correction: lehaziz

Daniel said...

Thanks Gilad. It has been corrected.

EmFish said...

good for you for using hebrew rather than miming that you didn't need a bag. that will serve you well in the long run and provide some good laughs on the way.