Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Monumental Days

No, not the upcoming holidays.

It's hard for me to believe that I've been in Israel for nearly five weeks, well more than the sum of the days of previous trips combined. Having lived in the German Colony and now in Katamon, I encounter Americans on a fairly regular basis. We trade the usual pleasantries, and try to figure out who might be mutual acquaintences, a game commonly referred to as "Jewish Geography." Up until now, the are usually in the country for just a couple of weeks. Knowing that I'm here for much longer still hasn't hit me entirely. It's a wonderful feeling to know that I get to experience Israel at its fullest, and I don't have encounter the sadness of leaving Israel anytime soon.

Today was our second day of classes at Pardes, looking forward to sharing more about those experiences with you.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Hamazgan lo oved. The air-conditioning is not working.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

West and South

Looking west toward the Old City walls in the early morning haze. The Tower of David is seen on the far left.
Looking down the path toward the Jaffa Gate, the Old City walls are reflecting the light from the rising sun. the Tower of David is visible.

Looking South, on a clear day you can see the security barrier.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Juxtaposition

I've spent some time at the Kotel over the past few days. Check out Tussling with T'fillah for more about my my experience. Here's a juxtaposition that everybody notices when they come to Israel, specifically the Kotel: these guys (dressed beautifully in green)
davening next to those guys (below, dressed fashionably in black). While I was dancing at the Kotel the other night, I was whacked continually by the butt of an M-16 or two, not unlike the one seen here.
So there we are amid beautiful songs, Pslams, and harmonious voices and I am coming into contact with objects of war.
Strangely, it gives hope for a peaceful time when those weapons will no longer be necessary. But it also frightens one into realizing that sometimes those weapons are necessary. Obviously I prefer the former, and dancing with soldiers younger than I gave me a great appreciation for the often difficult tasks that their country asks them to carry out. They're still able to sing Psalms of praise and peace, that's a juxtaposition.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Shavarti et shtei haraglayim, v'hem koavim.
I broke both (of my) legs, and they hurt.

Friday, August 20, 2010

From Kotel to Ladder

Yesterday morning I made my first trip to the Old City of Jerusalem, including a brief visit to the Kotel. Because the weather has again become unseasonably warm, I was determined to return to my apartment before the sun was too high in the sky. However, the big news of the day was working WITH the landlord on apartment repairs.

The landlord, an elderly French immigrant, now Israeli, showed up at about 10:30 to do repairs on the shades in one of the bedrooms as well as on the balcony. He corrected my still-poor Hebrew grammar whenever possible, for which I was grateful. At some point, he asked me for a bit of help, I was more than happy to oblige. Four hours and many trips up and down the ladder later, all the repairs were concluded. Between my Hebrew/English and his Hebrew/English/French we were able to communicate and work together fairly well. I'll spare you the intimate and intricate details, but what was the most notable to me was that when something was difficult, he would call out to God. For example, a screw was stuck and his response "Nu, Elohim?!" (So, God?!). What a place, huh?

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Ata tzarich likro gam et ha'otiyot ha'ktanot.
Literally: You need to read the small letters too.
Practically: You should also read the fine print.

Shabbat shalom.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Photos As Promised

Two-button flusher, meet blogosphere.


Last week's flying piano. Please note the dumpsters behind, which is where the famous sod incident of 5770 occurred.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Conversions

I am not going to touch the rancor that exists surrounding the conversion issue. Instead, I have a list of items that should be converted between the two countries.

From Israel to the US
1) Solar energy. Need AC? Use the sun to power the AC.
2) Hot water heaters, see above for the energy source.
3) Two button toilet flushers. One for, number one, and two for...you get the idea.
4) Be casual. Everybody likes to dress up, but casual is just fine!

From the US to Israel
1) Mail. In the US you know when the post office will be open.
2) Bank hours, they should be regular.
3) Customer service. Lacking in Israel, see numbers one and two.
4) Street numbers. 19, 34, 22 consecutively doesn't make sense.

Bonus, both countries should get rid of:
1) Pennies and ten agurot coins. For those who don't know, Kramer (from Seinfeld, not my cat with the same name) reverses the peephole of his apartment to prevent an ambush from somebody wielding a sock of pennies. They're unncessary.

I know this is a longer post than usual, but surely you will laugh at my expense. I was paying for my groceries at the market when the bagger began bagging my groceries. The following ensued:

I said to him: Ani lo tzarich sachkaneet, yesh li tarmil gav.
I was trying to say: I don't need a bag(sakeet), I have a backpack.
What I actually said: I don't need an actress, I have a backpack.

Pictures coming soon of the flying piano and two button flusher, once the internet woes are resolved.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Slicha, ata yachol l'haziz et ha rov'eh shelcha, b'vakasha?
Excuse me, can you move your gun, please?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Shabbat in Review

Sometimes it's really wonderful to be doing something unique in the midst of a larger crowd. Other times, it's just as wonderful to do the same unique activity in the context of others who are doing the same.

Obviously in this case I'm talking about Shabbat observance. Yesterday, while I prepared to head off to my lunch, and reunite with my Hadar chevruta, I could hear the residents of the apartment above singing the words of v'shamru, the opening of the Kiddush for the Sabbath day. As I left the apartment moments later and headed up the street, I passed other windows and balconies and heard the same words. Some were quite beautiful, others horribly out of tune.

There's sort of a knowing look that you give to people as you pass them in the street, a nod, a slight smile, sometimes even a verbal greeting. All of which convey a sense of delight and relaxation even in the scorching afternoon heat. The quieter streets, the long leisurely meals, and (sometimes) melodious singing combine to make the elbowing and edginess of the Friday grocery trips bearable.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Kof ro'eh, kof o'seh. "Monkey see, monkey do"

Friday, August 13, 2010

Wrapping the Week

A piano flew off the balcony below me earlier this week. Okay, it didn't actually fly, it was assisted by a large hydraulically powered crane. Quite an operation to behold.

I know I touched on this last week but grocery stores are insane on Thursday afternoons and Friday mornings. This should not be surprising given the fact that Shabbat is approaching and the stores are closed on Shabbat. It does, however, provide an excellent venue to interact with the residents of the city. Or if you prefer, it's an opportunity to be elbowed out of the way while thumping honey dews and watermelons.

I noticed today the sign for the shelter in the basement of my building. "miklat" with an arrow pointing downward. Interestingly enough, this is the same word that appears in the Bible when discussing the cities of refuge. Parashat Shoftim, which will be read tomorrow contains one of the commandments to create the cities of refuge.

Interesting, no?

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Savta sheli noheget yoter tov mimeich! "My grandmother drives better than you!"

Shabbat shalom.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dumpster Diving and Driving

I am familiar with the concept and practice of dumpster diving. Granted, I'm not personally familiar with it, but I'm aware of its existence as a method of reducing waste, salvaging usable items, etc...

However, I did not think that dumpster diving applied to yard waste. Yes, people save their fallen leaves and use it as mulch for the following spring, but what I witnessed this morning was a bit surprising, although certainly not unreasonable.

For context, my current apartment faces the Shalom Hartman Institute and today they were doing some landscaping. I overheard two men having somewhat of a charged exchange about the sod that the Hartman landscapers were discarding in the dumpsters. A fellow in a white car had pulled up and was fishing the scraps of sod out of the dumpster and putting them on the trunk, roof, and hood of his car. From what I could overhear, he is preparing to have a garden this fall, and wants the grass to keep the rains from washing the loose soil away. So, after agreeing that it was okay to take the leftover sod, the man drove away very slowly, trying not to accelerate too quickly, lest his new treasure slide off into the street.

I can only imagine how his speed was probably met with lackluster enthusiasm by the impatient Israeli drivers awaiting him on the main roads.

Bonus Hebrew phrase of the day:
Lama atah m'naseh la'asot pozot? Why are you trying to show off?

A Break in the Weather

After many days of scorching heat, the past couple days have been very pleasant. It has become much easier to sleep at night when the temperature is in the 60s vs high 70s. Sorry fans of Celsius, but this is a Fahrenheit zone.

Even Israelis were remarking that it was especially hot. The best part about the change in weather during the day is that I now have the ability to go outside, sit in the park, do errands, or just enjoy Jerusalem between the hours of 10 and 6.

Humorous observation: motor bike drivers have a death wish. I don't understand why somebody would drive so recklessly on a contraption that offers so little protection in a country where traffic accidents are so prevalent.

Hebrew phrase of the day: Zeh mamash lo inyanecha. That's really none of your business.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Those Little Things

As I prepare for my first Shabbat in Jerusalem on this voyage, I want to recap a few things that I encountered in the last few days.

1) A woman asked me(in Hebrew) on the street the other night where Cafe Hillel is. Because there are a couple of them, and because we were facing in opposite directions, I (also in Hebrew) gave her completely the opposite directions. However, I didn't realize it until a few minutes had passed. Oh well, I figure she was in the Army anyway and could use to refresh her compass skills.

2) On my apartment building there are a few guys doing some pretty serious work putting in an elevator. Some of the laborers are Israeli and some are Arab. When I said good night to them last night, I instinctively said Shabbat shalom, see you on Sunday. The Israelis both of whom are probably secular barely responded. The Arabs looked up and said Shabbat shalom. Interesting, no? What's even more interesting, it happened last week in Haifa as well.

3) Friday morning shopping is quite an undertaking. It seems that everybody is in the super at the same time, regardless of which one you patronize. I know that stores close early on Friday because of Shabbat, and I'm certainly glad that my shopping is just about done, and that I won't have to face the throngs in the middle of the afternoon.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
K'visa achat v'hem mitkavtzim. One load of laundry and they shrink.

That does it for me. Shabbat shalom.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Week One Summary

Let me just start by saying, this blog will be more humorous and less serious than my other which you can check out here. I thought I would do what every good American does, start a blog that nobody reads, just to get my thoughts and observations out there about what's happening in my new Jerusalem life.

In one week I have come to the perhaps premature conclusion that Israel is in fact a third world country, not in a disparaging way, just a fact.

Mail doesn't arrive, internet doesnt work, hot water sometimes is on the fritz, no building projects are seemingly ever completed, traffic patterns don't make sense, adorable cats roam the streets, and more.

Please don't get me wrong, I love Israel. And I'm not even saying that these are bad things, or that they're only seemingly "bad" because of what Americans are accustomed to having in their lives. Just an observation.

So this will be a place for humorous musings, observations, stories, and more regular updates. As I said above, the more serious stuff can be found over at Tussling with Tfillah.

L'hit.